THE PAUSE : if you want to be free

A WORD FROM LINDS

i can’t believe how many of you reached out to me about last week’s edition. it shows me how being open, honest, & vulnerable is so moving for you all - so thank you for allowing me to do so.

-

THE PAUSE

it’s all happening

a free state of mind

i remember a time when travel was what i was seeking - - all of the time. and while travel for most is a reward for hard work or a need to shift environments for relaxation - however, my drive to travel didn’t come from an itch to relax/take a load off - it came from a deeper need to feel something.

it was a deeper, visceral desire to feel free.

in last weeks’ edition, i reminded you about the time i moved to costa rica. i left my boyfriend (love you D!), my job, my family behind - and i knew i had to embark on that adventure.

what i didn’t realize at the time was that i was running from my own mind - my own need to find the awe and presence in moments that i wasn’t tapping in to - you know, the ones you almost always get while you’re away: on the beach, during sunset, with no plans, no phones - utterly and literally free of responsibility or ties. i believe i was seeking this because i didn’t know how to find it in my own body, in my own life.

the funny thing is, my mind came with me to costa rica and mexico and florida. i look back at those 6 months and i am so grateful for them, but they didn’t solve my dis-ease. the move to CR didn’t magically change how my body felt, or how my mind still needed me to be ‘perfect’, have ‘success’, and be something i couldn’t even attain with this kind of pressure from myself.

neither did the months of travel after that.

i remember vividly sitting with two girlfriends of mine in tulum, mexico after having been gone 4 months, saying, “i have so many incredible things at home - a man who loves me, an unbelievable job, and family and friends who are so dear to my heart” (and at the time i also missed my grandma so much). i continued to say “what the heck am i doing here?” with tears in my eyes and a smirk on my face. it was the beginning of my path back home.

i understood then that i couldn’t just be (although i did find it in many moments - the ocean does that for me). because ‘being’ took a settling into my body, it took peace and pause and presence - all of which i didn’t know how to cultivate yet.

the exploration of this feeling didn’t subside in years to come; and parts of me still chase that escape - especially when i get the feeling of normalcy or too much routine. i like to run, let go, be free - be wild. and i have come to terms with the fact that this will likely always be a part of me (my kink that i love) - and my partner has also accepted this necessity for moments of freedom in my life.

at the end of the day, freedom doesn’t come from changing environments. it doesn’t come from being by the ocean or leaving your world behind - freedom comes from inside. it comes from understanding that you are loveable/amazing/incredible/whole just simply living and embracing what life is. that you don’t need to do anything. that your life is seriously beautiful, public or private - and that there are opportunities in every single moment of every day to find more meaning or more freedom in your heart.

freedom is found in gratitude + the connection with yourself.

freedom is found in the pause.

that free feeling: a journal entry

get out your pen + paper

1. when do you feel most at ease + aligned in my daily routine?

2. what is it about these times that makes you feel relaxed?

3. what is it about feeling away or free that allows you to find more peace?

4. can you find this peace in my daily life between tasks? how? when?

5. make a list of times in the day that you can cultivate more acceptance of yourself.

6. make a list of times in the day that you can cultivate better self-love.

i answered these myself, and here’s what i got (and hopefully it gives you inspo):

1. i’m most aligned and at ease when i am writing here to you, playing with my dog, having a laid back convo with my partner. when i wash my face or put on my red light mask. when i am checking things off my work task list with ease. when i am allowing my awareness to open and take in the outdoors, the sun, or just life.

2. i feel relaxed in these moments because i am taking a step back from worry, or from thinking into the future. i am present and relaxed in my body - not in fight or flight.

3. feeling away or free allows me to find more peace, because i am allowing myself to be free of all mental strain on ‘needing’ to do something or needing to be something. it allows me to let go.

4. i can find peace between my daily tasks by taking a walk outside without my phone, by playing with my dog, by being mindful and making myself a healing tea, having meaningful conversations, by setting time blocks that allow me to just be in my daily schedule.

5. i can accept myself more: 1. when i look in the mirror. 2. when i am tired and need my space. 3. when i am feeling a ‘no’ for a certain plan or activity and allowing myself to then say no. 4. when i am dancing freely and loving myself instead of wondering how it looks.

6. i can cultivate better self love by having multiple touchpoints in the day to check in with how i’m feeling, how my body is feeling. i can set time aside every day to do something i absolutely love (shower, bath, walk, journal, write, sunshine, patio, etc). i can also pay more attention to when i need water, or need food and not ignore these cues.

an awesome find i didn’t buy this week

i searched the internet for 45mins so you didn’t have to. here’s what i found:

• this stunning black dress (a style that designers are pumping out, only $60 CAD at zara)

something new

♡ something new that i am cultivating more of is home made meals. we have been having a very easy summer, and it’s time to get some daily homemade dinners on the table for D and I. potatoes, meat, veg - here we come.

♡ something new i felt was necessary to tell you today is that i am groggy for the first time in months (i used to get groggy/brain fog a lot). in the past i always search for why - but today i am embracing being in this space and allowing myself to accept where my energy is at.

♡ something for fall i would love you to consider is doing a detox with me. is anyone interested? it will be focused on liver cleansing and gall bladder flush. i have all the tools (will share) and the instructions so let’s dedicate 7 days to do it together. contemplating starting september 9th. are you in?

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if this edition moved you at all, send this to someone you love. or send it to someone that you were reminded of during this edition of the pause. 

rest until i see you next ♡

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